Review of Nutronstars's CD "Carltonpop!!!"

Nutronstars: Carltonpop!!!

Oh! nearly! nearly!

This stuff is on the edge of genius, fighting to avoid the big drop into the bathos of emulopop. You know - that breathless patched-up cut-and-paste tribute to all the best bits of radio pop from the last 50 years.

Every bar is a stolen highlight from some great anthem, riff, sound or beat. It rattles downhill like a bunch of abandoned babies in a three wheeled pram full of squealing babies. "Eric the Crab" (track 4) is a classic.

It could be Herman's Hermit's or the Strokes, The Clash, Billy J. Cyrus or Joe Meek, Guns n Roses or Penelope Polaroid and the Hornrims. Or almost anyone who've you've ever yelped along to in some inebriated attempt at having Big Fun.

I think this is a demo - it has a trumpet (I think). I will treasure my copy. It could become a Collector's Item. It has labels stuck onto the CD body in a reckless and player-threatening way. If I was well ensconced in some Corporate Colon I would order my section to have it manufactured just as this came to me - with its illegible graphics and it's liner photograph of Carlton Over 60s Drop In Centre. And its bizarre recording/mixing with the worst recorded example of tambourine ever made ("Spider Song"). I would have them on The South Bank Show and the shopping channels. They would become massive. My life would become complete as I walked through the Merrion Centre hearing their tunes on the background music system.

"Whatever happened to the girl from the chain gang?" they sing. How would I know? I'm trying to write a review here and their insane and wonderful record keeps making me laugh, squeak, marvel and put my fingers in my ears. It's a mess and it's great. Final number is Adam and the Ants vs Lindisfarne: "Battery Operated"?. I don't think so. More like an industrial scale diesel generator, with fireworks.

Nutronstars come from Nottingham. God knows where they're going. The "Over 60's Drop In Centre" (track 3) has joyously good pizzicato strings. Not since Adam Faith ... [that's quite enough now ... Ed.]

• www.nutronstars.co.uk

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