Simple Kid @ Joseph's Well
By Cathy Simpson
There's a lot of competition for our attention in Leeds this evening, there's the Wannadies with Mommy and Daddy at the Cockpit, there's a whole city filled with vulnerable teens pissing mum and dad's money up the wall in fresh meat week, and best of all there's the episode of Eastenders before the one where Dirty Den comes back. So why then should I bother trekking over to Joseph's Well to see some bands when I could be doing (sic) one of the above?
Komakino do little to provide a satisfactory answer to the question, and the unnecessary view of around 3 inches of the singers arse crack every time he turns around and bends down (for some reason he does this a LOT) makes me long for the comforting sight of the Queen Vic. Apart from this the onstage movement is minimal and it becomes apparent that various band members must have the music printed on the back of their eyelids- open them up boys, the crowd weren't that ugly.
There are some alright moments, not least the drumming throughout the whole set which is really good, but also some rock and roll mike throwing and freaking out from the frontman. Sadly the latter is immediately followed by gratuitous apologies from said frontman thus quashing the effect. Oh well, nearly.
To summarise, Komakino were playing next to a poster which said 'gash', you do the math.
Next are Black Wire, but what I want to know is, who thought it was a good idea to put them, self-confessed bad ass zombie motherfucka's, on the same bill 'Dido of garage'TM, Simple Kid?
Black Wire play an intense set with the band all trying to get in the same square metre of stage giving the effect of a flailing, three-headed rock stick insect, with hair. A highlight comes with singer Dan getting off stage and screaming in the face the ugly, balding piss-head who's dancing at the front like a twat - you know the kind of person I mean, they're so pissed they think every song is for them and they're feeling every beat, when really they look like a shit, go Dan.
Despite bemused looks from the peaceful Simple Kid fans wearing their cosy hoodies Black Wire don't dilute it one bit and it's pretty clear that no one, band or audience is really enjoying themselves, but fuck it, Black Wire are going to rape your ears anyway. Sweet.
Finally it's the trucker cap wearing 'Dido of garage'TM, Simple Kid. Like Dido Simple Kid is talented when it comes to writing songs but like her, he is also really annoying. He's not American, but seems convinced he is, he calls his band his bitches (I don't think Dido does the last one, but I wouldn't be surprised).
It's easy to imagine Simple Kid going down very nicely on a Saturday afternoon at Glastonbury, but here in the dingy back room of a pub he just gets my back up. He's one man with his flying V and his angst, but what I want to know is, why should we care? After watching Black Wire Attack Attack Attack, it's hard to get enthusiastic about a faux-American singing about what he thinks of the Samuel L Jackson Barclays ad.
